


Sentimental Judgements

by LiaraSeven



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexa, F/F, Head Injury, Love, Post Season 2, Pre Season 3, Romance, Slow Burn, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-13 00:17:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5687278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiaraSeven/pseuds/LiaraSeven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my first fic on AO3 and my first Clexa Fic.</p><p>It is set just after the fall of the mountain. It does not include reference to any of the s3 trailers. Clarke is lost in the forest, battling her internal demons and has a devastating accident. Lexa is dragging her heels in returning to Polis when she receives news from her scouts that the mountain has fallen and that Clarke has gone. Lexa searches for Clarke. This story is just a fluffy, angsty thing with some form of plot :) Depending on its popularity I might make it more complex :)</p><p>Sorry I suck at summaries :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews and kudos would be very welcome, I have a block on the 4th chapter of this fic currently but I hope to resolve it quick. This will be a short fic, Chapters posted every couple of days if I can! :)

**Lexa’s POV**

  
Lexa knew that if she turned back even for a second, all would be lost. She knew in her heart she would not be able to stop herself from running back to Clarke. A single solitary tear forced its way out, rolling slowly down the painted blood-stained cheek of the Commander. Closing her eyes momentarily she could not prevent the images flooding her brain; Clarke crying, Clarke pleading, Clarke’s heart visibly breaking.

  
She hoped Clarke would end it, would leave and run back to her. Lexa shook her head gently, no, that wasn’t like the Sky Girl. She would fight until her last breath for her people, like she herself would. Lexa blinked rapidly to stop the tears from exiting her welling eyes, no, Clarke was not so different from herself. She was loyal and devoted, but more importantly ruled by her emotions; the only stark difference between them.

  
As they reached the war camp, cries of victory surrounded her, “Heda! Heda! Heda!” they chanted. But Lexa barely registered their joy, joy she could not share in. She nodded her head and smiled briefly at each warrior she passed, heading for her tent. Once inside, Lexa grabbed a piece of cloth and held it up to her eyes, allowing the pools of tears to fall into it. Clarke was lost to her.

  
After what seemed like hours, Lexa straightened herself up and started to clean her face. Rubbing the remnants, the signs of her outburst now hiding deep within her, she breathed deeply, knowing she would have to go council her generals and join her people in celebration of their victory. But to Lexa, it was no victory; it was a sacrifice, of all the love she had remaining; now leaving her dead inside, cold as ice.

  
The night passed slowly, like a dream. Lexa giving out orders and commands to her generals, deciding how they were going to proceed with the rescued victims of the mountain. They came to a decision that they would rest in camp for three days and three nights, rebuilding the strength of the survivors before their return to Polis. She sent scouts to the mountain and camp Jaha to watch, to see if the Sky People would be successful in their campaign. She needed to see if the mountain would fall or if the Maunon would break their promises and re-start the war. But really, she needed to see if Clarke, her beautiful Clarke, would survive the night.

  
Lexa kicked herself internally for leaving Clarke at the door of the mountain; walking off into the dead of night. She regretted her decision instantly, but she also knew, choosing any other option would've lead to her death, by her own people. She knew she had to show a cold unyielding strength. To leave the woman she loved to die, to fight a fruitless battle on her own.

  
Death, she always knew, would be her final journey as a Commander; that she would stride fearlessly into its open cold arms. She also knew that it would not be today. She was smart and resourceful, but Clarke was her weakness, her love, and leaving her had almost suffocated the Commander. It was destroying her, suppressing the tears so her generals would not see her weakness. Lexa tried to bury her feelings deep within her, tried to lock them away. She was fighting a losing battle, if she succeeded, she would remain cold and dead inside her soul, but if she fell prey to her emotions, she would be weakened and unable to lead. It was a tough internal struggle, the war was over, but the real war still raged within her soul. But she could feel the emotions fighting to the surface, causing her to look back, to stop, hoping, and praying that Clarke survived.

  
The young woman stared out over the forest, watching for something, knowing she was being carefully monitored by her people. No one dared to speak, for they all knew what the Commander was searching for, for her. But they also knew that Lexa was strong, that she would do anything for her people and she had proved that in front of the mountain.

  
She was not scanning for enemies, as her training had taught her. No, as Lexa took a deep shaky breath, she gulped down the rush of emotions she could not let escape; she was watching for Clarke. Lexa was secretly hoping that the enigmatic blonde that she’d fell head over heels for, would work her way to Polis, for her.

  
She could not let any sign of her feelings show on her face, for she knew they would be her undoing. Feelings were something Lexa had been taught from an early age to suppress, so she would one day be filled with the leading spirit of the Commander. Feelings which would not go away, fighting with her head and threatening to take over; her heart was desperate to rule. She desperately wanted to please Clarke, to be loved by her, but she had to save her people. Ruling with her head had been the most painful and regretful experience of her young life.

  
Lexa took full advantage of their decision to remain in their camp for a few days, she could leave the proceedings to Indra, her second in command and trust all would be well. She could leave and search for Clarke, could go and help the fight if she so chose. But to show her strength as Heda, she knew that she could not follow her heart’s instincts, she had to remain, to wait for word from her scouts about the results. This explained why, at every spare moment, she would be out, scanning the horizon with her eagle eyes. Eagerly searching, hoping to see a hint of Clarke, the Skai Prisa who had changed all ways of life for her and the TriKru.

  
Lexa watched as the sun rose red over the canopy, the sign that blood had been spilled that night. She bowed her head in silent prayer, respecting the lives of the fallen. She was about to turn back to camp when she saw two of her riders galloping towards her.

  
Her breath caught in her throat, heart pounding like war-drums, this would be the word she was so desperately waiting for. As they neared her, she held up her hand, signalling them to stop. “Shish Op,” she ordered her scouts to speak all they had witnessed.

  
“Heda, the mountain has fallen. The Sky People have succeeded, they won.”

  
Lexa took a deep breath, trying to stop her emotions bubbling to the surface, “And what of the Sky Commander?” She asked tentatively, not daring to hope.  
“She is alive. She was seen leaving her camp this morning. She has gone her own path into the forest.”

  
“Mochof. You may leave now.”

  
She watched as her riders continued past her into the camp before she let out a small sob of relief. Clarke had survived the night. A small smile worked its way onto her lips before disappearing as quickly as it had appeared. Clarke had disappeared into the forest. Lexa knew immediately she needed to find her Skai Prisa, to bring her back to her.

**Clarke’s POV**

  
Clarke couldn't look back, she was haunted by the ghosts of the souls she had sacrificed; innocent lives gone with the pull of a lever. She couldn’t allow herself the moment of weakness, could not let herself look back at her camp, at the people she did great evil to save. She knew if she looked back, just for a moment, she would fall apart, break. Love was after all, weakness, weakness that she could not allow herself to feel, ever.

  
The young blonde stumbled along aimlessly through the trees; each mile she walked started to look like the last, everything seemingly blurring into one. She was lost deep within herself, caged and broken as her body continued on through the wilderness. The trees were stark, the canopy above darkening the path around her, the dirt scuffing up around her feet as she dragged her feet continually along, without purpose.

  
Her survival instincts kicked in, bringing her active mind forth as she saw the cold light of day slowly sink below the horizon. She needed heat, shelter; focussing her eyes she saw the trunk of a particularly large tree, slightly hollowed. She could use that as shelter for the coming night. She tried to muster up even half an effort to collect kindling, but she knew it was fruitless. She did not care if she lived or died, she was too broken to function. The blood on her hands felt like a weight on her heart, becoming heavier with each breath, each effort making her weaker than the last.

  
Clarke slumped against the tree and silently sobbed to herself. She couldn’t deal with the images that rushed into the open, in front of her clouded gaze. The stench of death clung to her, made her gag and retch, coming up empty as her stomach did not want to let go of the bile now trying to force its way out. Clarke shook, the sight of deep red blood dripping from her hands made her close her eyes tightly.

  
After what seemed like hours, something made her stand; the force pushed through her, in order to prepare a fire for the upcoming night. She fought within herself, not understanding why she was bothering to move at all, until she saw a figure appear within her blurred vision. She tried to focus, squinting hard; the silhouetted image of the Commander swam into view. She was donned in full armour, war-paint still covering her eyes, the blood of war still apparent on her cold face, her eyes swimming in tears.  
“Lexa…” Clarke breathed, her voice caught in her throat.

  
“Your fight is not over, Clarke,” Lexa spoke quietly, her voice echoing like a ghost through the wind.

  
As Clarke’s eyes struggled their way into full focus, the strong figure of Lexa slowly faded into mist. Clarke shook her head and rubbed her eyes hard, no, it was too early to be seeing things. Wasn't it?

  
Like a dream, as if she were on autopilot, the blonde collected kindling and proceeded to prepare a fire for herself. She had not yet eaten or drunk anything since leaving the camp. She knew she needed to find a source of water, at least, but first she needed to survive the harsh night on the ground, alone. She worked hard to get the fire started, but once the flame soared into the black sky, she was grateful for the warmth. Clarke slowly laid down into the hollow of the tree, her eyes slowly closing, but her mind was on full alert. She knew there was a high probability that out in the open, something or someone could attack her.

  
She slept fitfully that night, her eyes constantly popping open to quickly scan the horizon, before falling into dark dreams. She saw the bodies of all the lives she’d sacrificed swarm her, suffocating her.

  
Clarke awoke screaming, her lungs piercing the silence of the new morning. She shook violently, shivering, not from the cold, but from the fear of her terrifying ordeal. She took a deep breath, slowing down the rhythm of her heart. The blonde stretched her sore muscles and slowly stumbled to her feet. _Right_ , she thought, _I need to find water, and preferably some form of food._

  
As much as she despised herself currently, she was still stubborn as anything, she never failed at anything. If she were to die, she would want it to be in the hands of someone else, to punish her for all the evil acts she committed. She would not let herself die from exposure, dehydration or starvation, if she could help it.

  
Clarke stamped out her fire, leaving only the charred twigs and ashes as signs she has been there at all. She sighed before glancing around her, looking for the best way forward. Her untrained eyes spotted the imprint of horse hooves on what looked like a well ridden dirt track ahead through the trees. Without wondering where exactly it would take her, she marched onwards. She had absolutely no idea where she was headed; straining her ears for any signs of water, she followed the dusty road onward.

  
After two long hours of trekking, Clarke came upon a small creek of clear water. Overjoyed, she ran over as fast as her tired legs could carry her. She fell to her knees before scooping up handfuls of ice water to her cracked, dirty lips. She moaned breathlessly as the cool liquid ran its way down her parched throat, cleansing the pathway as it went downwards.

  
The water refreshed her, clearing her clouded mind enabling her to think forward to the next obstacle, food. Clarke could not see any sign of movement in the still water below her, disappointed she stood, looking carefully around, for any signs that an animal had been there recently. It was entirely plausible as creeks were often homes to a variety of creatures.

  
Her blue eyes studied the ground closely, sighing she discerned she could not really spot tracks, nor figure out how fresh they were, resigned, she slowly ambled away from the creek and continued on along the path. She had to arrive somewhere following this route, deep in her sub-conscious she knew that the place would be inhabited by grounders.

** Lexa’s POV **

  
It had been two days since the news of the Mountain’s fall. Lexa was painfully aware that her time to locate Clarke was running out. The plans had been made and were to begin at first dawn. Her generals were concerned that the hastened pursuit of the Sky Girl had distracted and perhaps weakened their fearless leader. Lexa could see the concern in their eyes, but she persevered, having received word that Clarke was alone out in the forest filled her with dread.

  
The Commander was worried that her beloved Clarke would get herself killed. Being alone in the forest without knowledge or training was inherently dangerous. Maybe this was what Clarke perceives as her punishment, who knows? She knew Clarke led with her heart, and this, was to be her undoing.

  
Lexa was experienced enough to know that she herself should not be seen out in the forest with her scouts, but something was driving her to do so, to follow her heart, not her head. This made the brunette weary, as she was unfamiliar with this process since she shut herself down years ago. She felt an indescribable force pulling her through the trees, she could not understand why; she only knew that she had to follow this magnetic power.

  
As she prepared herself for the second day in a row of scouring the land, getting her dagger attached to its guard on her leg. Lexa then picked up her arm guards and expertly fastened them, her back facing the tent flap. As she continued to don her armour on, she heard Indra walk in behind her. “Commander, this is foolish. Since the break of the alliance, there can only be one thing on Sky Girl’s mind, revenge.”

  
Lexa’s anger grew at the insubordination of her general, “Shof op, Indra,” She growled impatiently, “I am well aware of our history. But I cannot allow her to die.” She turned around and held up her hand, signalling Indra to stay quiet as she paced towards her, invading the general’s personal space. “The Sky People do not know her whereabouts and if she turns up dead before either of us find her, you know that they will come straight here, seeking vengeance. You know they will blame me for her death. To protect us and reinstate a potential alliance, we need to find her, alive.” Lexa glared strongly into the eyes of Indra, “Indra, you are to command the camp in my absence are we clear?”

  
“Perfectly,” Indra replied, bowing her head in respect to her Heda.

  
“Now leave me.” Lexa ordered her general out of her tent.

  
The brunette furiously finished getting dressed, placing her sword in the scabbard on her back; she promptly marched out of her tent in search of her horse, ready to ride out again with her scouts. She silently, unemotionally walked past her warriors and guards, bowing her head to each that acknowledged her presence. She was to remain a respected visionary of a leader to her people; her will was to remain strong. She knew that any wavering seen within her, would lead to her downfall and murder by her own people.

  
Lexa’s eyes clasped on the tacked up white stallion tied next to her guard’s chestnut mare, ready for her days ride. She sped up, gracefully floating over the ground with each step towards her horse, which spotted her and whinnied in an excited response.

  
“Easy Saman,” she soothed, stroking his heated muscular neck gently as she reached for the reins. She placed her left foot in the stirrup and swung up proficiently, landing softly on the saddle. Saman snorted and pawed the ground with his hoof, “Shhh, easy,” Lexa again soothed, waiting as her scouts and guards mounted their steeds along with her. She held the reins in her left hand as she raised her right to silence her warriors. “We ride south towards the hot springs; we will return at nightfall, Indra is to lead in my stead. If I find anyone has defied my orders, they are to be punished as I see fit.”

  
Lexa lowered her hand back to the reins and felt the horse tense beneath her, waiting for her heels to signal him forward. She bowed her head knowingly to the group of 11 to be riding with her, before squeezing her legs gently into Saman’s side, the ghostly white stallion jumping into action and cantering strongly forward in response. The sound of the others neighing and their hooves pounding the ground soothed the Commander. Today was the day, she could feel it buzzing in her broken down heart, the emotions trying to break free of the cage they were suppressed in.

  
Lexa could feel Clarke calling to her across the wind, darting her horse in and out of the trees, Lexa’s expert eyes looked in every direction, searching for the voice that was calling deep into her soul. The young Commander knew that her riders could not hear what she could, so she rode silently alongside them until they reached the cliff that jutted out over the Valley of the Springs. She pulled Saman to a halt, the strong stallion quivering and sweating under her touch. Lifting her hand up, she halted her warriors, nodding her head at them ad pointing, Lexa had expertly commanded her riders to split up in their endeavours to find Clarke.

  
Tristan, her new personal bodyguard was reluctant, he did not want to leave his head unprotected, “Leave with Mari, Tristan,” Lexa ordered, “I will be safe, Saman will protect me should I come to harm.” Tristan gave a curt bow of his head before sending his chestnut mare quickly after the bay gelding who was disappearing into the brush.

  
Lexa took a deep breath as her eyes scanned the beautiful sunlight valley below her. The springs could be heard bubbling amidst the wind. She looked down through the lush greens below her, the trees parting way to the most luxurious valley of water and flowers. It always took her breath away, the indescribable beauty of nature, cutting through the harsh reality of her war-like nature, calming her in a way that no other could.

  
She dismounted, pulling the reins over Saman’s head, she slowly lead him down a small rocky path into the valley. Pain and the sensation of unease suddenly throbbed through her soul; she could feel Clarke, calling her. The brunette was instantly vexed, she sensed Clarke’s presence, but it was faint, as if the sky girl had come to harm. Lexa sped up down the path, almost running, hearing the pounding footfalls as her horse followed her skilfully into the valley. As she reached the flat plains, she instantaneously threw herself back in the saddle and galloped towards the call.

  
**Clarke’s POV**

  
Since leaving the creek, Clarke had become painfully aware of the gnawing hunger within her. Every other step her stomach growled, echoing emptily as she trudged on. Stupidity she realised had claimed her head upon leaving the camp, although her heart would not let her return, would not let her go back to the point of her pain. The young tired blonde knows in her heart, she is just not ready to go back and face the music, to see the looks in the eyes of her people after she committed such a heinous act.

  
Her legs ached painfully, shaking like they’d turned to jelly, no longer fully supporting her weight. She stumbled over an exposed tree root and fell flat on her face, the gravel on the road scratching her face and all exposed skin, the mud stinging her eyes and touching her lips. She sighed and slowly got up, aware of the twinges in her back and face from the fall; her knees are cut to shreds. She can feel the broken skin rub against her dirty, wet pants causing her to cringe at each movement.

  
_What am I doing here?_ She thought to herself. She was dirty, no clean clothes or baths for days. She was hungry and had been weary to pluck any of the tempting berries that were calling to her. She could not risk becoming violently sick and losing what precious little fluid remained in her body since drinking at the creek the previous day.

  
Clarke became suddenly aware of the yellow, warm glow of the sun getting brighter out ahead of her, quickening her pace, she reached a break in the trees, clearing just in time for her to see she was atop a cliff’s edge. After letting her tired eyes adjust to the light she stared out over the beautiful sight now befalling her. A valley of immense beauty, flowers and long lush green grasses as far as the eye can see, only breaking for what appeared to be bubbling, steaming pools of water appearing from the ground.

  
She smiled to herself, grimacing at the pain it caused her cracked lips, she began to search for a way down, coming upon a steep stony path that lead into the exquisiteness. Her head spun, causing her vision to blur as her hands grasped desperately over the rock face next to her, she had to follow its path, for she could not fall so far down and survive.

  
After what seemed like hours to her, she finally knew she’d made it down when her feet no longer jarred at rock, but rather sunk gently into the soft grass beneath her. Stumbling aimlessly through the valley, Clarke kept a watchful eye on her surroundings, hoping to see some form of food that she could eat, and some more cold water to drink wouldn’t go amiss either.

  
She passed through into a small cherry orchard, her eyes hardly registering the succulent edible fruit hanging above her head, the beautiful trees snaking up into the sky. They opened up around a large pool of steaming water. The blonde sighed in disappointment, she could try drinking the water, but she knew all too well that it would not quench her thirst, but would instead, make her feel hotter than she already was.

  
Clarke was barely conscious enough to register the sight ahead of her. Her eyes were zoning in and out of focus as she stumbled slowly past the geyser. Clarke breathed deeply but then her breath caught in her throat as shooting pains forced their way up her legs and into her chest. She collapsed to her knees, her breathing becoming shallow as she writhed in pain. Five minutes Clarke suffered through the pain until it started slowly subsiding, she stood up slowly, her whole body shaking.

  
Turning around too quickly she fell again over another upturned root, the whole world appearing as if in slow motion as she slid to the ground, her head smashing into a rock that was laying at the edge of the hot spring. White hot searing pain flashed through her eyes as she struggled to stay conscious, her body finally winning as Clarke slid into the blackness, her chest barely rising and falling as her broken body lay there, in the silent heat of midday.


	2. Chapter 2

**Clarke’s POV**

 

Clarke could feel the heat on her skin, like she was being licked by flames, her muscles contracting and relaxing; she was essentially twitching. She felt hazy, dizzy and could not yet muster the energy to open her eyes. She didn’t know if she was still in the valley, or somewhere else. The latter made her heart pound; what if grounders had found her? She had been after all, on what seemed like a well-used dirt road. Wait… hadn’t she? Suddenly the memories weren’t all too clear, they were hazy, like someone had gone in and extracted them with a hot blade. But that was impossible; she surmised that she must’ve hit her head, hard and that she had suffered some brain damage. Her memories would come back to her fully, wouldn’t they?

She mentally felt her way around her body, eyes still squeezed firmly shut, searching for any pain or damage. Her head throbbed like lightning was striking her temple, her legs ached like she had run a marathon and her back was stiff like bark. Clarke moaned softly, the pain was all she could think about. She chastised herself for the mental check, because now, her whole body seared with pain, as if she were being stabbed repeatedly by a hot blade.

The young blonde fluttered her eyelids, trying to force the sticky lashes apart. She needed to see where she was, she needed help. Clarke moaned again as she tried to move her hands up to help unstick her eyes. Her breath caught in her throat as she suddenly felt hands over her own. Her heart thumped, as if it were going to fly out of her rib-cage. Someone was there. Someone… someone had found her and she needed to know who.

Her eyes fluttered again, the slits now allowing her some sight. She saw a blurred figure above her as she felt one arm go across her waist, gently pinning her arms down. She felt the figures other hand brush gently across her forehead. “Shhhh… it’s okay, you’re safe.” The figure’s soft, female voice echoed into Clarke’s ears, strangely comforting, somewhat familiar. Clarke’s tired eyes widened, trying to focus on the stranger’s kind face, nothing came into view and Clarke groaned in frustration.

“I, I can’t see,” She cried quietly, her voice croaking as the woman in front of her gently lifted her head up, onto her lap. Clarke felt something press to her lips and moaned happily as she felt cold water slowly trickle over her dry tongue and down her parched throat. “Thank you,” she croaked, “For everything,” she muttered before closing her eyes gently again, sleep consuming her.

She felt safe, she did not know why, but the voice reminded her of safety, of love. She could not figure out where she’d heard it from, but she was not well enough to process the information, she was content enough to lie there, falling asleep in the woman’s strong comforting arms.

As soon as she drifted to sleep, the nightmares began again. She was swarmed by glaring faces, angry, disgusted and disappointed as they rushed at her. She wanted to scream, but she couldn’t, she felt cold arms pulling, scratching at her flesh, their burned skin and charred faces growling at her, coming at her. She saw Jasper’s angry grin as he watched Maya’s hands clasp over Clarke’s mouth, suffocating her. “No…” she breathed, “Stop please, I did what I had to,” she drowned in horror as another ghostly hand forced through her chest and ripped out her still beating heart. She screamed in pain, her eyes snapping open.

Her focus was still blurry as she saw the young woman race through the tent flap to her side, “Shhh, you’re okay, Clarke.”

It was then that Clarke realised where she recognised the voice, “It’s okay, you’re safe,” the young woman soothed as Clarke strained her eyes, wanting so desperately to confirm what she knew in her heart, her soul. “Lexa…” she breathed as her eyes focussed on the clean young face of the Commander.

“I’m here,” Lexa replied, stroking Clarke’s sweaty, heated forehead gently.

Mixed emotions rushed to the surface as Clarke struggled to come to terms with the sight in front of her. Love, hurt, anguish, guilt, betrayal; she didn’t know which emotion would win out. In the confusion of her mind, the blonde broke down, crying softly as Lexa lifted her head and placed it on her knees. Feeling Lexa’s strong embrace made Clarke cry even harder, she was safe, she knew that, but she was so confused. She was angry, she knew that, but she was also deeply scarred, hurt by the woman beside her, the woman she had been falling for.

Clarke couldn’t remember what had happened to make her feel this way, and it scared her even more. Her tears were burning a path down her white cheeks as she felt an overpowering emotional response to Lexa. She loved her that much she knew, but she couldn’t quite grasp the memories of the war upon the Mountain. Searing pain coursed through her temple as she struggled to remember, making her grimace and moan in despair.

“Shhhh, it’s okay, Clarke,” Lexa soothed, holding the small crying girl to her chest, “You were hurt, you are safe now,” she reiterated, seeming to understand the blonde’s confusion.

“Lexa,” Clarke croaked, desperate for some clarification over what had happened, over the disturbing nightmare that had plagued her dreams, “What happened to me?” she cried breathily, “I… I can’t… I can’t remember. Did we win?”

Clarke heard a sharp intake of breath as she felt the Commander stiffen next to her, “What? What happened, Lexa?”

** Lexa’s POV  **

Clarke had been in her care for two days now, Lexa could not get over the sight that now plagued her mind, the sight of Clarke’s broken and battered body laying against the rock in the orchard; her gorgeous blonde hair sticky and darkened by her blood. All she could see was the dripping of the red liquid slowly trickling into the spring, the once clear water turning pink. Clarke’s battered ribcage barely rising and falling as the young Commander sprung off of her horse, sprinting to the blonde’s side.

Her Skai Prisa had barely survived, her Scouts had rushed to her aid at the sound of her horn, and they had got the young Sky Girl back to camp as sunset fell across the land, being replaced by a shining black, cloudless night. Lexa had not left her side, despite protests from Indra, concerned that the Commander was being distracted, weakened by her obvious love for the girl.

She commanded Indra to leave with the survivors of the Mountain the following morning, insisting she would follow up a week later, when Clarke had healed enough to make the journey safely at her side. For the past day and a half, Lexa and 12 of her best warriors and their healer had stayed behind, for Clarke, to ensure the Sky’s leader was well, to enable their alliance to be reinstated, to hold off another war.

Clarke had been in a terrible amount of pain and watching her writhe and thrash was difficult for Lexa. But the brunette accepted this as her punishment for the betrayal of her heart, for leaving her souls love to die at the doors of the Mountain. When Clarke had spoken of the war on the Mountain it had stolen the breath from the Commander’s lungs. Her head injury had been more severe than the brunette had realised, Clarke could not fully remember the night Lexa had left.

She rolled her head back, hoping the gravity would help her pull her pools of tears back into her eyes. She knew it was fruitless as she felt a single solitary tear roll slowly down her cheek. Lexa breathed deeply, her inhalations shaky as she tried her hardest to be strong, to not let the weakness flow.

“Lexa, what’s wrong?” Clarke croaked; her blue eyes confused and worried at the sight of the Commander’s tear filled eyes.

“You do not remember the fall of the Mountain, Clarke?”

“No… Wait, I remember bits but it’s fuzzy and it hurts,” The blonde cried.

“Shhh, do not worry, Clarke, I am here.” Lexa held Clarke tighter, resting the soft golden curls into her lap, “You will remember in time, but if you wish to know, I will tell you when you are rested.”

Lexa was not one to hide from the truth, and she abhorred lies, but she could not wreck the weak sky girl. She could not be the cause of hurt in her, again. But she would tell her when the blonde had rested. Lexa sighed into Clarke’s hair, “Rest now, Clarke. I will be here when you wake.”

She felt the blonde sag into her body, her chest now rising and falling in a slow steady rhythm as she fell deeply into sleep. This was going to be a tough few days.

Lexa closed her eyes gently, leaning against the headboard of the bed, Clarke’s soft hair fanning out from her beautiful face as her head rested in Lexa’s lap. The brunette tried to sleep, but she couldn’t the revelations that had come forth had stunned her. Clarke’s injury had indeed caused some form of memory loss and this killed her more than she thought possible.

Clarke had the same eyes as Costia, those comforting serene ocean blue diamonds shining with her soul. In some ways Lexa could see similarities between Clarke and the soul of her lost love. It was as if Costia had sent her someone else she could be true with, someone to love. And then she’d shot, shot a hole through everything she loved when she was forced to follow her head. She’d had no choice but to leave her love at the door of the mountain. She just hoped that Clarke would one day see why she did what she did, and maybe, just maybe, forgive her.

Commander Lexa of the 12 clans felt guilt, remorse and above all, so damn sorry for Clarke; she was sorry for everything she’d done. It burned its way through the pieces of her heart, leaving ash, crumbling down the walls in her fragile soul. Lexa had had her second chance, she knew this, but she’d blown it. The memories now flooded back; those of the night of her ultimate betrayal. When her mind had screamed silently at her stiff body to turn back, to run and save her love and the people that were part of the Sky Girl’s heart.

_The night was long, the shadows of the fallen surrounded Lexa as she had turned her back on Clarke. The young commander wiped a tear from her dusty, bloodstained cheek, not allowing it to fall. She could not show weakness to her subordinates, never, that would for sure sign her death sentence. She glanced over her shoulder into the dark forest, blood, ash and bodies littering the path behind her with the fallen of the Mountain. She knew she could not see Clarke, but her face still echoed in the shadows, plaguing Lexa’s mind. “I should’ve saved you, Clarke,” she whispered brokenly, “I had no choice, if only you knew what I wanted to do. I love you, Clarke.” Taking a deep breath she turned her head back to the path and continued her march back to the camp._

Lexa had lived a full life in her young years, her love Costia, had been taken from her a year after she was called up to the rank of Commander, the Heda’s spirit taking over her. She had searched for weeks, knowing that Nia, the Ice Queen was indeed the one to blame for her missing girl. But no matter where she went, where she searched, the Queen stayed beyond her reach. Days after she returned to Polis, she was in receipt of a large parcel, Cosita’s head. She remembers even now what Costia’s face looked like, her features etched in fear, no doubt the same when her head was rendered from her shoulders. The only way to ensure her soul would never be reborn. Lexa remembers her last words to her love and whispers them aloud in the darkness, “Yu gonplei ste odon, ai hod, Costia.”

When she was around ten summers, young Lexa began to notice a gorgeous warrior-in-training among the ranks of the twelves. The terrifying blonde had softness about her, though she was incredibly vicious and talented in training, almost unbeatable. When the warrior turned her head in Lexa’s direction for the first time, she smiled gently, the sun shining out of her face as she swung her sword at her competitor. Her dark blue eyes glistened like the ocean in summer and her blonde hair curled and waved in the soft breeze, its length was no distraction to her sharp fighting. Her name, Lexa discovered later off of Anya, was Costia.

Anya, the young ones’ trainer could see a strong spirit in Lexa, a talent that surpassed most others. Lexa, when she turned eleven, was added to the small selection of young warriors-in-training to be assessed as the Heda’s reincarnation. Costia was also among the selected few. The young brunette knew she felt something unimaginably amazing for Costia, so she was always one of the first of the elevens or even twelves to volunteer to battle the seasoned twelve. Much blood was spilt, bones cracked, skin tore, but Lexa burned with every touch or scar she received in training against Costia. She almost revelled in every cut and every break just so she could be near her. Lexa was as reckless as she was young, but she was smart and learned fast.

The memories made the brunette smile sadly, her heart lurched, caught in her throat. She swallowed thickly and gazed down at the gentle soul between her legs. Although Costia would never come back to her, she had found another. Another beautiful, strong woman whom held her heart, though the blonde may never know, Lexa was wholly in love with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter should hopefully be up this weekend, we shall see, also c1 of my other fic should be up soon too :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a filler so, sorry for the quality of writing :P C4 should be better as I have an idea for where that one will go :)

** Clarke’s POV **

Clarke awoke in the dimly lit tent, her eyes still blurry. She rubbed them softly, hoping to clear up her sight. She sat up gently, grimacing as her head throbbed, dizzying her up, and blurring the light of the candles all into one flame. She groaned audibly to herself, sensing that there was no one in the vicinity of her… Wait, where was she?

Clarke blinked rapidly as she slowly swung her legs over the side of the makeshift bed she had been laying on, looking around slowly, trying to figure out exactly where she was. Her vision kept blurring as if she were looking through dirty glass. But at its clearest points, Clarke could make out the shapes in the dim, warm candlelight.

She could make out a desk or table with papers and a board of what looked like food upon it.  Next to her was a smaller table like object, with a metal jug and a cup, wriggling herself slowly closer, she peered into the containers; there was a clear liquid, possibly water, in the jug. Clarke suddenly became aware of how dry her throat was and the throbbing pain in her skull strengthened. She shakily picked up the jug, her muscles weak from a limited food intake and from her accident, and poured herself a small amount of water into the cup.

Clarke gently lifted the cup to her mouth, cringing as the water trickled through her painfully chapped lips. She then sighed as the water soothed her burning throat. _Where am I?_ She thought to herself, mentally feeling her way around her body, searching for injuries; wincing as her head pounded, reminding her that she had knocked it on something. _Well, more than knocked_ , she realised as she gingerly reached her hand up to the matted mess of hair to what felt like a poultice bandaged into place upon her skull.

  _Why can I not remember everything? Lexa is here… but, but why am I here?_ She whispered silently, “Shit,” She whined as she felt a searing pain shoot through her right leg, “I must have either broken it or torn muscles,” she mused aloud, regretting it as a stabbing feeling travelled up her throat. She would not be able to get up for a few days she reasoned; she would be totally reliant on others to help her. That got her wondering where Lexa actually was; at that point she heard a rustling of the tent flaps.

Clarke flinched instinctively; she had no idea who’d be coming through next, although she logically knew it would not be an enemy, but her body reacted anyway. She blinked rapidly for a second time since waking as a streak of light penetrated the dark skin tent. The tall strong figure of Nyko filled the room, letting the heavy entrance fly back to its original position.

“Hei Klark,” he spoke softly as he strode confidently across the tent towards her, “I see you are awake,” he continued in English for Clarke’s benefit.

Clarke grimaced as she shuffled to the edge of the fur lined bed, “I am sore, Nyko,” she croaked, her voice still shaky, “I cannot remember much and my leg and head, ache.”

“I am not surprised, Klark,” Nyko replied as he knelt down to inspect her head. He lifted up the poultice gently causing Clarke to hiss at the sharp pain that accompanied the movement, “I am sorry, Klark, I do not mean you harm.”

Clarke smiled weakly, “I know.”

Nyko reached for a clean piece of cloth and dipped it into a pale of water that Clarke had just noticed was at the end of the bed. He lifted it up to her, waiting for her say so. Clarke nodded curtly, knowing that the cleaning of her gash would cause incredible discomfort and pain.

She clenched her hands tightly to the furs under her and scrunched her eyes as he squeezed the cool water into her wound. Air whistled through her taught lips in response. Memories, visions danced in front of her eyes like they were taunting her, memories she should hold, but ones she sensed would only bring her harm and destroy her further.

“It is done, Klark,” Nyko spoke clearly, dragging her from her reverie. Clarke slowly opened her eyes, meeting his warm gaze she smiled. He stood up and seemed to search for something in the corner of the tent. Clarke watched him with curious eyes, puzzled at what was next.

She figured it out quickly as he returned with a long strong stick and more cloths and herbs. He pointed to her leg, “I need to change your cloths.”

She nodded and slowly swung herself back onto the furs, laying her head back down and re-bracing herself for more pain, “I am ready, Nyko,” she whispered.

He nodded and proceeded to unwind the blood-stained cloths that surrounded her leg. Clarke cried out in agony as he moved her leg and set it using the stick. Tears streamed down her cheeks, burning a path to her chin and down onto her neck. She let herself stare into space, her eyes zoning in and out, losing focus on the ceiling of the tent. Clarke felt a white hot pain sear through her leg and screamed agonisingly just as she heard the tent flaps open.

Clarke breathed shallowly trying to brace against the discomfort, letting her eyes wander to the sound. “Lexa…” She breathed and her world suddenly faded to black as her mind could not take her body going through any more anguish.

 

** Lexa’s POV **

Knowing Clarke would undoubtedly be asleep for hours, Lexa quietly and gently slipped from the makeshift bed of furs and proceeded to dress herself. Five minutes later, she was marching through the entrance of her tent.

“Tristan,” She greeted her young warrior with a nod of the head, “What of the food situation?”

Tristan nodded curtly in respectful reply, “We are dangerously low, Heda,” he changed his stance and gestured for the Commander to follow him to the food store; which also happened to be another makeshift tent not ten paces away from the Commander’s quarters. “If you would look in there, you will see that we are on our last few meals, not enough to feed all, Heda.”

Lexa bowed her head in acceptance of his knowledge, “We must hunt. Gather the warriors, but leave Kiern in charge of guarding Clarke. Nyko will see to her if she wakes.”

Tristan promptly left the Commanders side and purposefully set about arranging the warriors for the days hunt. Lexa did not want to leave Clarke, even though she knew that she would be safe in the care of Kiern and Nyko. Lexa could feel her muscles tensing at the prospect of leaving Clarke and as much as she intellectually knew that the blonde would be safe, she could not negate the feeling of unease rising in her chest.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to swallow the feelings and let the Commander’s spirit rise in preparation for the hunt. She turned to face the camp with Kiern at her side; she watched as Tristan readied the warriors and gave them tasks in the upcoming hunt. As much as she wanted to fight the decision to scout, she recognised that necessity and the call of leadership were too strong to ignore.

She turned back to face the treeline, mentally preparing herself for the day’s activities. As she was slowing her breathing in the calm of day, she twitched at the sound of steady hoof beats behind her. Lexa swung around gracefully to see Tristan leading both his chestnut mare and Saman. Both tacked and ready to scout the treeline.

Lexa bowed her head in thanks to Tristan as he handed her the reins of Saman, her grey stallion, fully tacked up and ready to scout the woods for prey. Other than her and Tristan, only two other warriors would be mounted, this was strategic and tactical. The grounders knew that to be the quietest to avoid detection from their prey, being on foot was paramount.

The young commander placed her foot in the stirrup and swung up with quiet ease and felt Saman shift underneath her, tense and ready for action. “Shhhh, easy, Saman,” she soothed to the horse, shifting the reins into one hand as she stroked his muscular neck. He snorted in response.

Lexa raised one gloved hand decisively, silencing her warriors and drawing their attention, “You all know your missions, Tristan and I will scout the woods edge for signs of prey, Zafira will lead the team through the trees and Erron will take the rest on foot.” Nodding her head to her fellow riders, she lowered her hand, “We ride.”

Digging her heels deep into the animal beneath her, she jumped him up into canter, heading down to the right, Tristan following close behind as they galloped into the trees, circling the forest just in the treeline. Saman’s hooves pounded the soft earth beneath, straining at the bit asking to go faster, but Lexa would not allow, any faster and three-point turns through the trees would become exponentially difficult.

She kept her trained eyes peeled for any signs of recent animal activity, coming across a stream; she slowed her horse to a slow trot. The young brunette leaned slightly to the left over Saman’s steaming shoulder and signalled to Tristan, there were trilipa footprints, fresh and leading into the dense brush. At the signal, Tristan turned his mare back towards the camp, heading for the ground team to take the trilipa down while Lexa and the other two riders continued on in search of potentially bigger prey.

 

Lexa bowed her head towards the two other mounted warriors in her scout part and squeezed Saman on, letting the horse surge forward, taking her where he wished to go. Letting him pick the speed could be dangerous, but he was talented enough to keep her out of danger. Lexa, being the skilled rider she was, easily sat to his movements as he leaped over a fallen tree and immediately executed a turn on his quarters as he dodged more upright tree trunks. Lexa took hold of his mouth when she noticed they were speeding ever closer to a cave.

Returning to a jog, rather than the walk she had asked for, Saman pranced excitedly, snorting at the scents now filling his flaring nostrils. Lexa raised her hand to her fellow riders, holding tight onto Saman’s mouth with the other to stop the young white stallion from bolting. He had noticed the scent of a big cat, or a panther that was living in the cave, Lexa surmised, noticing the smattering of paw prints leading to the deep, hollow rock face.

The commander would normally have dismounted with her spear and sought out the predator, but the brunette knew better. If she had indeed dismounted she was sure that her sturdy mount would have almost definitely bolted, being smart to stay away from the growing danger.

She needn’t have worried as her ears twitched at the sound of rustling through the trees, Zafira’s team had tracked them to this point and would now, take over the stalk of the big black predator. She bowed her head at Zafira, pointing her hand towards the mouth of the cave and then back down at the paw prints on the ground. Zafira returned her nod and expertly swung to the ground, followed by three other soldiers, they tracked the panther skilfully into the rock face.

Lexa took a deep breath and nodded at her riders before turning Saman back towards camp, allowing the stallion his fun and giving him his head. He surged forward, squealing in excitement as he executed perfect 3-point turns through the brush and mass of trees surrounding them, he snorted in exhilaration and surged forward again, preparing to jump the fallen log for a second time. He bucked on landing but this was no problem for Lexa, skilled as she was.

She revelled in the feel of the muscular beast below her and the rush of air stinging her cheeks and rustling through her hair, this was, as relaxed as she got, when she was taking her horse out for a ride. She felt utterly at peace and entirely happy as she rode towards the looming camp across the plains, back towards her Clarke.

Upon arrival she dismounted with ease and handed Saman over to Kiern, who had walked over to meet her from the entrance to her tent. She nodded her thanks as he walked off to cool the stallion down and reward him with food and water. Her expert hearing picked up the sounds of crying and pain through the walls of her tent, responded to by the sound of low soothing. As worried as Lexa was, she knew that Nyko, a skilled healer was tending to Clarke.

Lexa briskly pushed open the flaps and marched through with grace. Her eyes picked out Nyko gently setting the blonde’s leg and cleaning the wounds. The pain was clearly too much for Clarke, it was etched deeply on her face. Blue eyes turned and met her green ones, full of recognition.

“Lexa…” Clarke murmured before slipping back into unconsciousness.

“She is strong, Heda,” Nyko spoke softly, “She will be healed within a week, for now, let her sleep. Her body has endured enough for today.”

He stood up and took with him the bucked and healing supplies as he headed quietly to the entrance of the tent. Lexa spoke just as he was about to leave, “I shall let her sleep, Nyko, but I will wake her when the food has been prepared.”

He nodded as he pushed his way out of the tent and left his Heda in peace with her love, Clarke, in the guard of Erron, one of the warriors from the hunt. They would be fine for now; the night approaching would bring peace, rest and sate their hunger.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to me... I turned 24 today. So I thought I'd treat you guys to a slightly longer chapter today. I know I meant to get it up yesterday but birthdays are busy times! The next one will hopefully be up at the weekend. Along with c2 of my other fic. Enjoy guys :)

** Lexa’s POV **

The warmth radiating from the candles enveloped the couple, keeping them comfortable. Lexa had barely woken but she knew from the way the flames were dancing, shadowed on the tent flaps that evening had arrived again in camp. Yawning she shifted, gently lifting the sleeping blonde from her chest and gently placed her back down on the furs as she softly swung herself to the edge of the bed. Sleeping days was not something she was accustomed to, but as Clarke needed round the clock care and devotion, she took it upon herself to sleep whenever Clarke was, so she would be well rested to be able to look after her love with all the energy she had.

It had been a week since the last hunt and Lexa, although she was content to stay with Clarke, felt restless. Such feelings of ambivalence were not uncommon when it came between Clarke and her duties. Though she could not afford to display her emotions on her face, she had to remain as stoic as ever. Any wavering as the commander could lead to her death. She knew her people’s ways well and knew there would be no leniency unless she could integrate Clarke into Trikru society and culture.

Clarke was improving slowly but surely, and Lexa could see she was itching to get out and about, like herself; Clarke was not one to sit still and had to keep moving, keep working on the next thing. Lexa sighed quietly, knowing that tomorrow would bring the start of Clarke’s rehabilitation and lessons would be tiring. Nyko had passed Clarke as fit enough to begin strength training earlier that morning, but the blonde had still been slightly feverish. So it had been decided to start one day hence.

Allowing herself a smile in the darkened chamber, Lexa knew she was content to be here, no matter how many times she felt the need to go on a hunt, or back to Polis to deal with the council and her people’s needs. She was confident however that, Indra, would be doing sufficiently well in her stead. If Lexa was truly needed at the summit, Indra would have her summoned by a party of their fastest riders.

Hearing Clarke groan beside her, she knew that the blonde would be waking for the third time that day, her fever had broken at midday and she was now slowly coming down from the waves that the infection had caused her. Two days into the treatment saw Clarke getting a painful infection in her leg that had brought fever, delirium and a concerning loss of appetite. Lexa and Nyko had worked hard around the clock almost force feeding the blonde concoctions of medications, applying salves and ensuring Clarke did not go a day without the minimum required food and drink intake for the day. It had been gruelling and four days in had seen Lexa almost riding to Camp Jaha to fetch Abby, but a day later and the infection had finally shown signs of leaving Clarke’s body. She was still weak and had aftereffects, but she was past the danger zone.

Bringing herself back to the present, Lexa glanced down at the sleepy woman next to her. Clarke was rubbing her eyes and squirming as she stretched her body out. Lexa smiled at the blonde, whom, upon seeing the smile on brunette gladly returned it with a wide toothy grin.

“Mmmmm, hey, Lexa,” Clarke murmured, her voice laden with sleep, “What time is it?”

Lexa began absentmindedly stroking her fingers through Clarke’s hair, “It is evening, Clarke,” she replied with a slight smile, “Night shall soon be upon us. But if you wish, we could go for a walk around camp?”

Clarke nodded her head over-eagerly wanting desperately to leave the confines of the tent she had been in almost exclusively for nearing two weeks. The illness had taken its toll on her body, but her spirit had remained an active one, seeking more adventure than the tent she had been restricted to.

Lexa laughed, a beautiful deep-throated chuckle that had Clarke blushing slightly in response, “I guess that’s a yes then, Clarke?” Lexa replied amused at the overzealous response she elicited from the young woman.

“That is most definitely a yes, Lexa,” Clarke smirked as Lexa bent down and gently brushed her soft warm lips against Clarke’s forehead, gaining a light moan from Clarke.

Lexa audibly sighed in pleasure at the feel of Clarke beneath her lips and revelled in the response she received from the blonde. “Well,” Lexa murmured against Clarke’s skin, “We shall have to do something about that then, shan’t we?”

Clarke grumbled as Lexa moved her face away from her and stood up in front of the fur lined bed. Smiling at the response she got from Clarke, Lexa began to get dressed so she would be presentable as the commander when they finally left the comfort of her quarters. The brunette sighed happily to herself as she exited the through the curtain separating the bed compartment from the rest of her quarters.

She returned barely a minute later with an armful of grounder clothing for Clarke, happy to see the blonde had sat up and was swinging her legs excitedly over the side of the bed. The blonde had looked up at the sound of the curtain brushing back and Lexa was greeted with her gaze and beautiful smile. “Wear these, Clarke,” Lexa spoke, striding across to the young Sky Girl, “They will keep you warm out in the cold of night.”

Clarke nodded thankfully, Lexa noted she was still rather stiff in her leg as the blonde attempted to pull the pants over her legs. The brunette sighed and knelt down by Clarke meeting her gaze, looking for permission to help her. Clarke smiled and bowed her head slightly and Lexa took this as consent. She pulled up the black leggings over Clarkes muscular legs and over her firm buttocks as Clarke stood up to facilitate the movement.

 Lexa smiled softly again as Clarke awkwardly plonked down again waiting for Lexa to pull her boots up, which she did in quick fashion before turning her back, respecting Clarke’s privacy as she took her nightdress off to be replaced with the bindings and shirt Lexa had brought her.

A few minutes later, Lexa heard Clarke clear her throat, “I erm, I’m done, Lexa, you can turn around.”

Lexa turned smoothly to face Clarke, “Are you ready to walk now, Clarke?”

“I think so, Lexa. Thank you, for everything you’ve done for me. You didn’t have to.”

“I know.” Lexa replied simply, “I did what I had to. With my heart this time, Clarke.” Tears were threatening to burst the dam, threatening to pour down her cheeks, but she could not let those feelings free, not yet, not when they were about to walk out into the open for her warriors to see.

As she was about to push out through the tent flaps, Clarke took hold of her hand gently, halting her in her tracks, “I may not remember all that happened Lexa, but whatever you did, you’ve more than made up for it now.” Lexa nodded briskly, the ever stoic commander present in her face. She let out a gasp as Clarke wrapped her arms around her waist, kissing her cheek before burying her head into Lexa’s neck.

Lexa felt at home, she knew that Clarke’s arms was where she wanted to be, her soul yearned for the blonde’s comforting embrace. This, she realised was what love was meant to feel like, and she relished what she could feel of it. Clarke would always be home for her, be comforting and be who she would want to spend the rest of her undoubtedly short life with.

They stood there, barely in the mouth of the tent, content to stay in each other’s soothing grip for what seemed like hours before they mutually pulled apart, ready to face the bustling camp of warriors and Nyko, ready indeed to eat and be social in front of the roaring fire reaching the skyline in the centre of the encampment.

Words were unnecessary in that moment, for both Clarke and Lexa fully understood the interaction that had occurred between them, both felt their souls complete at the point of embrace and felt the desire to remain in each other’s company while they left the security of Lexa’s quarters, into the orange glow of late evening.

Nyko smiled warmly as Clarke and Lexa walked purposefully towards the large rocks placed at the outskirts of the fire. “Hei Klark,” he nodded in recognition of her, also bowing his head once to the commander before continuing to converse with Clarke. Lexa was blissfully happy and revelled in the joy radiating from Clarke’s animated discussion with Nyko.

“Commander,” Lexa turned to the voice and bowed her head, “Hei, Tristan.”

“How is Clarke?” Her warrior asked her in genuine interest for the Wanheda.

“She is well. Any word from Polis?” She replied, quick to pick up on Tristan’s hesitance.

“The council were displeased with your absence at the summit, but Indra persuaded them that your presence was much needed elsewhere. She managed to convince them that you were here to watch over the mountain, Heda.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “But I fear if we are here longer than a month more there may be unease and restlessness between the clans of the capital.”

“Mochof, Tristan,” Lexa thanked her warrior, “Send word back to Indra that we shall be here a fortnight, no more before we begin our three day ride to Polis.”

He nodded before striding away from her, calling out to a couple of the riders as he went. Lexa sighed; she had known that the vacation would be over all too soon. That’s why she understood the importance of training Clarke to a high enough standard to be considered worthy of her Wanheda title, and proof enough in the Council’s eyes to be adequate to be their commanders right hand warrior.

Lexa allowed her gaze to travel back towards Clarke, who was still having an enthusiastic discussion with Nyko, no doubt about her wellness and readiness to begin training in the morrow. Clarke, as if she sensed the gaze, looked towards Lexa and smiled briefly at the brunette before turning back towards Nyko to continue her conversation.

Lexa grinned internally, pleased that Clarke got on so well and was seemingly at home within Trikru culture. The commander in her meshed well with the death-commander within Clarke and Lexa knew that they were meant to be one. She walked back over towards Clarke and sat gently on the rock next to the blonde. Nyko could sense the Commanders desire to be alone with Clarke, so bowed his head and left respectfully, only to briefly return later with plates of food and glasses of water for his Commander and her Clarke.

Lexa was content to sit next to Clarke, their arms touching as they ate in comfortable silence, watching the fire rise into the starry sky. _Tomorrow_ , Lexa thought, _will bring about a change in us, for the better._

****

** Clarke’s POV **

The thwack of staffs could be heard echoing in the clearing and dominated the sounds of the campground. Clarke had been training with Lexa since dawn and had watched the yellow silhouette of the sun rise above the horizon to the sounds of their wooden staffs colliding and their vocal determination.

Lexa was a surprisingly patient teacher Clarke had discovered, but she was also tough. And in the hours they had been fighting, Clarke had certainly seen an improvement in herself. Her footwork was more fluid and her attacks had far more thought put behind them, enabling her to use her power and strength when they were to be of the highest advantage. Lexa was at her most impressive when teaching and Clarke enjoyed watching her, although the work was hard and she was beginning to tire.

“Keep moving, Clarke,” Lexa spoke evenly, barely breaking a sweat, “You have to be quicker on your feet than the enemy, but you also have to cause some damage. Attack. Again, Clarke, attack,” she ordered, watching the blonde intently and Clarke could feel her calculating stare pierce her. Clarke swung her staff in the air, rotating at suck speed she feared it would fly into the treeline

“Oomph,” Clarke gasped as Lexa placed a well-timed blow to her abdomen, landing her on her ass in the slippery mud. She growled in frustration as Lexa walked over to her holding out her hand. Clarke took at and allowed Lexa to pull her back onto her feet.

“That was not bad, Clarke. But you must not let the enemy see you tire. If they do, you will be at a disadvantage.”

Clarke was doubled over, her hands resting against her weak legs, her breathing coming in rapid gasps as she tried to steady herself and calm her body down. She was exhausted and in pain, but she was stubborn and wanted to push through it. In some ways she wanted Lexa to be proud of her, but she also wanted to show that she could hold her own, no matter what state she was in. And she knew that Lexa would not let her continue if she recognised how much pain Clarke was in. It was a lot of work to be doing so soon after being so ill and so weak.

“Are you ready to go once more, Clarke?” Lexa asked; the fight still not evident in her demeanour. But then, she was fitter and had not been injured as Clarke had been.

Clarke picked up her staff again with dogged determination and bowed her head to Lexa to signal she was ready and in the zone.

“Attack, Clarke.” Lexa ordered, parrying with the blonde. Meeting every swing of Clarke’s with a defence and a counter-attack, spinning on her toes eloquently and backhanding Clarke, knocking the blonde back once again.

“Yes!” Clarke whispered loudly, feeling proud that she had not fallen on her ass again and began re-attacking Lexa, not stopping to take a breather.

“Yes, well done, Clarke,” Lexa grinned, pleased at Clarke’s performance and willingness to keep going.

The thwacks of the staffs became more frequent as the two picked up their pace in the fight, Lexa wanting to see how far she could push Clarke before the blonde was unable to keep up.

“That’s it, Clarke, again.” Lexa continued her assault on the blonde, dodging fluidly, making the training look effortless. Clarke was a tad jealous at the natural fluidity in Lexa’s movements. Lexa’s innate ability to make it appear so easy provided Clarke with more determination. The blonde’s resolve set in that she too, would be able to make it look as effortless as the Commander.

“Oomph.” Clarke groaned as another well-placed hit knocked into her back, sending her flying and skidding into the mud, her whole front covered. She slowly pushed herself onto her elbows, meeting the concerned gaze of Lexa, who was kneeling by her face, arms outstretched ready to help Clarke back upright. The blonde accepted the help and let Lexa take most of her weight as she struggled back up onto her already unstable, weak leg.

“That is enough for today, Clarke,” Lexa said, her arm round Clarke’s waist as she helped support her out of the clearing and back to their quarters. “A good warrior knows when to stop. You cannot exhaust yourself to the point of breaking, Clarke.”

Clarke grumbled, not one to easily take advice even though she knew Lexa was right. It pained her to admit but, a rest would be beneficial for her leg and would help her gain strength for the next day’s training, which Lexa had promised to be riding. That knowledge filled Clarke with both excitement and trepidation. She was not known to be the most balanced of people and had on occasion tripped over her own feet. She just hoped that the footwork learned in the fight training held her in good stead when mounted.

She met Lexa’s gaze and smiled at the brunette, although she was stubborn as anything, she really was grateful for Lexa’s assistance. With the Commanders help, Clarke made it easily back to their shared quarters. Lexa gently lifted Clarke up onto the bed, her biceps flexing as she did so.

“You may rest here, Clarke.” Lexa spoke evenly, leaning forward to kiss the blonde gently on the forehead causing Clarke’s heart to skip a beat and her body heat up in response. “I shall be back soon with food, Clarke. But now I must attend to my duties.” With a brisk nod of her braided head, Lexa swiftly turned on her ankles and marched out of the tent.

Clarke moaned, unhappy at the absence of Lexa’s lips on her forehead and her arms around her waist. Sighing, Clarke gently swung herself fully onto the furs and lay back, allowing her eyes to zone out as she processed the thoughts racing around her head. After what seemed like forever chasing her thoughts round in circles her eyes snapped open in realisation, she was in love with Lexa, and even more amazing was, that Lexa appeared to love her in return.

 

** Lexa’s POV **

The second day of training had begun in earnest, with Lexa rising a whole candle-mark before Clarke. She wanted to make sure her morning duties would be safe in her absence and that preparations for the day’s excursion were arranged. Before she returned to her quarters, she approached Tristan.

“Heda,” he acknowledged her presence before running her through what he had prepared. “Saman and Zena are tacked up and awaiting the Wanheda and Heda.”

“Very good, Tristan,” she replied, bowing her head respectfully before turning towards the tent, hoping Clarke had awoken and was well rested ready for the day’s ride.

Upon entering the tent, Lexa beamed inwardly, only a small smile playing on her lips at the sight befalling her. Clarke was fully dressed and awake, sat on the edge of the bed, anxiously waiting for Lexa’s return. Seeing the Commander, the blonde grinned and practically jumped to her feet, raring to go.

“Come on Lexa,” she garbled excitedly, “Time for you to show me some of those riding skills.” Clarke winked briefly before marching past Lexa into the crisp cool air of the morning.

Lexa chuckled, the sound buried deep in her chest making her upper body shake. The brunette quickly followed the blonde out of the tent. “This way, Clarke,” Lexa gestured to her left, towards the make-shift pen where their mounts were tied outside of, waiting for the ride.

Lexa observed Clarke’s reactions as they neared the pen, the blonde was bursting with energy, clearly thrilled to learn to ride. As they neared the fence posts, Lexa noted that Clarke became increasingly nervous. Indeed she would be, these were big powerful animals, but nothing to be scared of once the mystery surrounding their power was lifted.

“It’s okay, Clarke.”

The blonde whipped her head round to meet Lexa’s eyes, her eyes filled with a mixture of apprehension and excitement. “They’re bigger than I remember, Lexa.” Clarke replied quietly, “they’re so powerful.”

“Do not worry Clarke,” Lexa responded as she gently took hold of Clarke’s hand within her own, “I will teach you. You will be safe.”

Clarke smiled, her ocean blue eyes lit up as Lexa led her over to the muscular black mare. Bringing her up to Zena’s left side, Lexa brought their entwined hands slowly but surely up to the warm neck and stroked her gently. Clarke gasped, and let go of Lexa’s hand. The blonde continued to run her fingers through the mare’s soft fur, following the path of the hairs as she stroked Zena. The horse lowered her head and snorted in pleasure, making Clarke laugh.

“This is Zena, Clarke. She is nice and will take care of you.” 

“Hello, Zena. Please be careful with me, I don’t know what I’m doing so much.” Clarke whispered quietly into the mare’s pricked ears, “I hope you don’t get annoyed at my clumsiness girl.”

Lexa chuckled again eliciting a soft smile from Clarke. “Come, Clarke. It is time to mount her.” Lexa pointed to the stirrup that was high up by the mare’s twitching stomach. Clarke gulped and nodded as Lexa helped her lift her left foot and push it into the stirrup.

“Now comes the difficult part, Clarke.” Lexa spoke knowledgeably to the blonde, “You must bounce on your other leg to acquire momentum, and then you must swing your leg over her back.”

Clarke grimaced and nodded determinedly at Lexa who nodded in return and helped Clarke swing herself into the saddle. Lexa couldn’t help but grin widely as the blonde beamed at her achievement.

“Wow… this is amazing, Lexa,” Clarke breathed as Lexa mounted her horse and rode him over to stand beside Clarke and Zena.

“Yes, it is.”

Clarke was so enamoured with the mare and relished the feeling of being on her strong back. Lexa watched patiently as Clarke got to grips with the beast below her, stroking her all over. Lexa gestured to the reins hanging limply on the mares neck and then to her own. Clarke realised quickly to pick up the slack and hold them as Lexa was.

“Yes, that is it, Clarke. The reins are an indication of direction only; you do not use them to pull the horse in any direction. You simply hold the rein away from the neck and use the opposite leg to squeeze her side. She will understand.” Lexa turned Saman left and right exaggeratedly to indicate to Clarke how it should be done.

“To move her forward, you must relax the reins and give her, her head before you squeeze her sides equally with both legs. That is how she will know that the command is forward and not to turn.” Lexa again demonstrated with Saman, her horse not as patient with her as Zena would be with Clarke. He was desperate to get moving and let out all his pent up energy. Lexa was careful to not give him his head overly as she knew he would mistake her command of walk for one of gallop.

“To break, you must squeeze again as if you are continuing forward but also squeeze and pull on the reins.”

Clarke nodded as she got to grips with the basic aids, walking round the clearing, turning every now and then before breaking. Lexa watched over as she worked out Saman’s excess energy through some basic exercises, circling and quick turns in walk, trot and canter.

When she came to a halt she called out to Clarke, happy with the blonde’s progress and ready to take her out for a gallop over the mountain pass. “Are you ready to go, Clarke?”

Clarke halted Zena next to Saman, “Go?” she queried.

“Yes.” Lexa replied, “You have mastered the basics and I feel you are ready to come on a ride with me across the mountain pass.”

Clarke grinned, obviously excited at the prospect of leaving the camp and having fun with Lexa. “I’m guessing we get to go faster?” She replied, catching the glint in the Commander’s eyes.

“Yes, we do, Clarke.” We will walk until we reach the opening in the forest, which is not far from here, Clarke, then yes, we will ride.”

Lexa clicked her tongue and squeezed Saman into a walk, the grey stallion chomping at the bit, snorting at the prospect of going on another ride. Lexa laughed at his silly behaviour and settled him down next to Zena, who was just gently plodding along the footpath through the trees, clearly more relaxed than her own mount.

“So, Lexa?” Clarke piped up, a question in her tone.

“Yes, Clarke?” 

“Do your people have their own horses or do people ride any horse that is available?”

“It depends, Clarke. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just,” Clarke paused, trying to figure out how to word her following statement, “I have seen you ride that white horse-“

“-Saman. His name is Saman, Clarke. And yes he is mine. As is Zena.”

“Oh, I understand."

“I have four horses myself, but if none are available then I will ride whichever horse is ready. It is the same for the warriors. Most have their own horse, but in war, it does not matter quite who we ride, Clarke.”

“I guess that makes sense, Lexa.”

Lexa blushed, glad that the opening was not far now, she did not want Clarke to see her obvious reaction to the blonde’s pronunciation of her name. It always made her heart race and her breath catch in her throat whenever Clarke referred to her as Lexa. Spotting the opening in the trees Lexa halted Saman and turned to Clarke, “The ride will not be long, Clarke. Follow me and turn when I do and we shall end up back in camp soon. A short ride for today will suffice as you have picked it up quicker than I had thought you would.”

“I am ready, Lexa.”

“Let’s go.” Lexa replied as she finally gave her eager stallion his head, nudging him forward and leaning forward into his centre of gravity. The cool morning air rushed through her braids as they pounded into the opening with force. Looking over her shoulder, Lexa was relieved to see Clarke copying her motions and following Zena’s movements, a big smile plastered on her face as adrenaline filled her.

Lexa laughed as Clarke and Zena came shoulder to shoulder with Saman, effectively racing them back to camp. The two galloped on side by side as the clearing came into view, the tents still small in the distance. Lexa knew they would have to break soon, the distance may seem far but they would be on top of the camp in no time at all.

“Time to stop, Clarke; we do not wish to run over everybody in camp.” Lexa shouted into the wind as she squeezed down Saman’s reins, the stallion complying as he dropped down to a walk just as Zena also dropped down to happily march back into camp under Clarke’s control.

They both dismounted as Tristan walked over to them, “I shall take care of them, Heda. You are not currently needed.”

Lexa bowed to Tristan and turned to Clarke, “Did you enjoy that, Clarke?”

Clarke smiled as they walked the short distance back to the Commander’s quarters, “I did, Lexa, very much so.”

“Would you like to go on another ride soon, Clarke?” Lexa asked hopefully. Riding was by far, one of her favourite pastimes and one she really wanted to share with the blonde.

“Yes. I think I would.” She replied as Lexa pushed the flap back to tent, indicating to Clarke to go first.

“That was amazing, Lexa.”

“I’m glad you thought so, Clarke. We shall ride again in two day’s hence. Tomorrow we shall be again fight training.”

Clarke groaned audibly, fighting was something she did not enjoy. Lexa chuckled a deep throated laugh, making Clarke stop and turn to her.

“I love hearing you laugh, Lexa. It’s beautiful.” She breathed as she closed the distance between the commander and herself, “I especially love your smile.” She continued as Lexa gulped, smiling uncontrollably. “I think this is where I always want to be, with you.”

Clarke closed the distance completely, throwing her arms around Lexa and burying her head into the brunettes shoulder, her breath warm on Lexa’s cool neck. At first Lexa stood stiffly, unsure of how to respond. It had been a while since somebody had held her like this. Not counting the other day when they had embraced also. This felt different, full of love and meaning. Like Clarke was not just hugging her with her body, but with her soul.

Lexa relaxed and her arms gently snaked around the blonde’s waist as she sighed into Clarke’s hair, kissing the mess of blonde beneath her lips. She felt Clarke shudder gently within her embrace as her lips touched her head. Lexa could feel Clarke smiling into the soft skin of her neck but the brunette jumped, not expecting the gentle kiss that the blonde planted at the crook of her neck, sighing into Lexa’s tan shoulder, “I think I may love you, Lexa.”

Lexa pulled back and slowly traced the lines along Clarke’s sides until she reached the blonde’s face. Gently pulling Clarke away from her shoulder, Lexa gazed deep into blue eyes, “I think I may love you too, Clarke.”

Lexa lowered her head, her eyes slowly fluttering closed as she felt Clarke’s soft moist lips brush against her own. She sighed happily into Clarke’s mouth as she sucked in her lower lip, drawing a moan in response. The stood in the mouth of the bed chambers slowly kissing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: The following chapter has explicit sex and some very angsty times. There is a bit of fluff thrown in their too! :)  
> Written for my awesome friend: VoyagerBorg85

** Clarke’s POV **

Clarke swung the sword over her head with ease, adrenaline coursing through her veins as she felt the clash of metal as it met with Lexa’s. Dancing artfully around the commander, Clarke flicked her wrist as she flourished the sword with ease, a glint in her ocean eyes as she forced the Commander back to the edge of the ring with the power of her attacks.

Lexa’s green eyes glowed and Clarke swore she could see the pride within their depths. The concentration was real, beads of sweat begun forming at the edge of Clarke’s temples, her wild hair working its way out of the braids into her face as the fight continued. The ring was lined with the rest of the camp, all the warriors and Nyko were eager to see Clarke graduate from training and all were thoroughly impressed by her stamina and accuracy.

Eleven days had passed since Lexa had begun training Clarke in the ways of the Trikru, and the blonde was proud to say that she finally held her own with the warriors. Effort apparent in the pairs faces; the silence of the day was broken by the clashing metal and groans from both Clarke and Lexa as they increased the battle’s speed. Clarke’s muscles were burning and she winced; the pain from her leg still haunting her every move and she knew it may never fully heal. Though that was not going to stop her, she was stubborn and proved that with every strike parry and defence she produced in the fight.

Clarke began swinging her weapon to the right as a thought hit her, and she changed her swing mid-flow, aiming her sword to the left. Surprising Lexa as it hit her square in the chest, sending her flying to the ground. Clarke slipped and fell on top of the grounder; the force of her swing not being met with a resisting one from Lexa had unbalanced her.

They both lay there for a moment, chests heaving and oblivious to the surrounding people as they gazed into each other’s eyes, smiles playing on their lips. Clarke could see that Lexa was clearly impressed with her as she had not been expecting Clarke’s quick change of plan mid battle.

Clarke let her eyes travel down Lexa’s body and back up again to settle on the brunette’s lips. It’s as if time stood still as the blonde leaned in, her hair tickling Lexa’s cheek as she witnessed the Commander’s eyes flicker closed in anticipation. Clarke’s breath hitched in her throat and her heart raced, almost beating out of her chest.

“Ahem.”

Clarke startled at the noise and clambered awkwardly off of Lexa meeting the gaze of Tristan, who was stood awkwardly by the pair. Clarke blushed as she remembered the crowd of warriors that were gathered round them to watch her fight. Looking back to Lexa, she saw that the brunette had also stood up but her facial features did not mirror Clarke’s. She was not red in the slightest, still the cool and ever calm Commander.

Clarke felt a little pang of jealousy at Lexa’s ability to mask her emotions and remain collected even when they’d so obviously been caught almost kissing. Clarke tried to shake her embarrassment at the clear amusement of Lexa who raided her eyebrow questioningly at the blonde.

“Clarke has passed the trial and is now Trikru. She has earned the right to keep her title of Wanheda.”Lexa spoke authoritatively out at the 12 warriors and healer creating a semi-circle audience around the two women. The line of men and women erupted into cheers of “Clarke, Clarke, Clarke.”

Clarke grinned with pride as she took hold of Lexa’s hand and forcefully raised it to the sky, “Together we will become stronger, Sky and Ground.”

Lexa lowered their combined hands and raised her other, silencing the crowd, “Tomorrow we ride for Polis. Let us pack up the camp and prepare for the three day journey. To your duties.”

The crowd immediately dispersed as they hurried off to the tasks they had been assigned. Most of the tents would be packed up and thrown on the carts, with most of the warriors sleeping under the stars before the early morning’s ride out. The only tent that would remain standing would be Lexa’s as it was seen as highly disrespectful to expect the commander to sleep with her warriors. They knew she cared for them without her having to sleep among them. It was more important for the Heda to get a full night’s sleep as she was the head of their operation.

Clarke stood next to Lexa, in the now empty ring, still smiling proudly. She was content to stand there forever until she felt Lexa’s hand on her arm. She turned around and was promptly met with Lexa’s soft lips. Clarke moaned and returned the kiss, her eyes fluttering closed ad she moved her mouth gently against Lexa’s, mirroring the brunette’s movements.

Breaking away Clarke met Lexa’s eyes, she could see the intense vulnerability swimming in her eyes and realised how privileged she was. She got to see Lexa like this, see all of her, and have all of her. Feel her love, her despair and everything in between and Clarke knew then that this was definitely what she wanted.

Lexa smiled, warming Clarke to the core, filling her soul with love and bursting out in her smile, “Let us rest, Clarke. We are not needed until the morning.”

Clarke nodded swallowing down the lump that formed in her throat. She was anxious yet excited with what the night would bring and the day hence. She was now a skilled rider and always loved her rides on Zena. But what she was really looking forward to was a night in Lexa’s arms. They silently walked next to each other as the sun set, casting shadows all around them, the red sky illuminating the forest.

Lexa pushed the tent flap back and let her hand purposefully slide up the blonde’s side as Clarke moved passed her and into the tent. Clarke shivered, her body heating up in expectation, knowing that tonight was to be the night they finally loved each other fully.

 

** Lexa’s POV **

Feeling a hand on her arm, Lexa spun around and gasped as soft warm lips met hers in a clash of skin. Relaxing into the kiss she let her eyes flutter closed and moved her arms, letting her fingers gently trace the blonde’s sides as they moved. Finally settling them upon Clarke’s back, Lexa pulled the blonde in closer, eliciting a surprised moan.

Their chests pressed into each other. The feeling of Clarke’s full breasts pushed into hers, made Lexa’s body involuntarily push back harder as her body heated to the core. Clarke backed up, her lips sucking and nibbling at Lexa’s, soft yet urgent in her manner. Lexa smiled into the kiss, relaxing her muscles and letting Clarke’s probing tongue slide in.

Her breath was coming in uneven and rasping as the blonde pulled at her clothing. They were still backing up slowly across the tent, their lips locked and their hands desperately discovering the other’s body. Lexa gasped as a soft hand slid up under her shirt onto her breast, a finger flicking at a hardened nipple as the hand squeezed at her breast.

Clarke laughed softly into Lexa’s mouth, the vibrations pulling a moan from the brunette. “Oh you like that huh, Lexa?” Clarke breathed into Lexa’s mouth, still reluctant to break away from the soft dextrous lips, her tongue exploring Lexa’s mouth.

All sense of rational thought exited Lexa’s mind as Clarke broke the kiss momentarily before pulling her shirt over her head, revealing her ample breasts, before pushing herself back against Lexa. The brunette moaned letting her eyes close, her other senses taking over as waves of pleasure coursed through her muscular form. She felt eager hands trace her hips as they jolted to a stop. Lexa opened one eye and noticed that back of Clarke’s knees were hitting the furs.

Lexa broke apart earning a frustrated grunt from Clarke until she lifted her shirt over her toned stomach and off. Revealing a gorgeous tattooed tanned physique, firm breasts stood out from her toned body causing Clarke’s breath to catch in her throat, Lexa smiled as the blonde’s eyes raked over her chest.

Lexa couldn’t bear it any longer; her desire to touch the blonde became overwhelming as she pounced. Pushing the pair backwards onto the furs, breathing hard she looked into Clarke’s eyes which were now dark with desire. Clarke reached up and reclaimed Lexa’s lips eager to explore the brunette’s mouth as her tongue flicked in.

Lexa took hold of Clarke’s arms and placed them above her head as she began sucking at the blonde’s neck. Nipping at her pulse point as Clarke moaned unabashedly, the vibrations travelling through Lexa’s lips down to her core.

Lexa left a burning trail of kisses from Clarke’s neck working her way to her breast. She took a nipple into her mouth and rolling it around with her tongue, while her other hand started massaging the other, flicking the hardened bud. Clarke arched her back, throwing her head back into the furs, her hands grasping tightly and the material above her head.

The brunette smirked at the response she was receiving as she switched breasts, giving the other equal attention with her tongue, nibbling it lightly. She kissed and sucked at the pale skin as she worked her way down to the waistband of Clarke’s pants, pulling them down slightly, revealing her hipbones.

“Oh god, Lexa,” Clarke whimpered as Lexa sucked and nibbled at each hipbone before slowly pulling the tight material over Clarke’s legs along with her underwear, being helped by the blonde. She leant back onto her haunches regarding the blonde’s beauty. She whined breathlessly as she explored Clarke’s body, dragging her fingernails up her pale thighs.

Lexa laughed seductively as she slowly kissed her way up the blonde’s legs, shocked yet aroused as the blonde could not hold back any longer, winding her fingers tight in Lexa’s hair, encouraging the brunette to where she wanted her. Lexa raised her eyebrow suggestively at Clarke, electrified by the blonde’s eager responses.

Lexa gently pressed on Clarke’s knees, widening her legs as she moved her head forward, towards the head radiating from the blonde’s core. Lexa delighted in the heady sweet smell coming from the sight befalling her. Clarke was beautiful, there was no doubt about that and Lexa savoured her first taste as she lazily flicked her tongue through the blonde’s folds.

“Fuck, Lexa.” Clarke’s eyes rolled back into her skull as Lexa worked her tongue steadily over her sex, feeling the muscles flutter as she gently dipped the end into her opening earning her a loud deep moan from Clarke.

Green eyes found blue in silent question, receiving her a nod of permission in return. She gently slipped one long slender finger into Clarke’s wetness and gasped as she felt muscles tighten round her finger. She slowly began moving in and out of the blonde at a steady pace, letting Clarke get used to one before she withdrew completely and slid back in with two.

Her tongue reached up to Clarke’s hardened clit and began tracing concentric circles. She regaled Clarke’s sensitivity as the blonde tightened her hands in Lexa’s hair, “Oh god, fuck, Lexa.”

Her back arched off as she uncontrollably thrust herself into Lexa’s face, earning a satisfied groan in return. Lexa picked up pace, almost slamming her two fingers in and out of Clarke, the blonde’s juices flowing freely down her fingers as she felt the muscles tighten more, telling her the blonde was close.

She reached her other hand up and began massaging Clarke’s breast, her fingers pinching at the nipple while her tongue continued her assault on her clit matching the rhythm set by her fingers. She moved faster, her skilled muscular arms not tiring as they took Clarke to the edge of heaven and beyond.

“Lexa…” Clarke screamed out her release as her body shook and her muscles clenched onto Lexa’s fingers as the brunettes tongue continued its attack on her clit, slowing as Clarke came down from her orgasm. She gently removed her fingers and made a point of slowly sucking Clarke’s juices off of them before lapping up the remaining fluids running down the blonde’s thighs.

Clarke was still twitching, riding out the remnants of her orgasm as Lexa kissed her way back up her body, gazing deeply into the darkened eyes before lowering her lips and capturing Clarke’s in a searing kiss. Eliciting a moan from the woman beneath her as she flicked her tongue into her mouth, feeling particularly aroused after the act she had just performed.

Clarke chuckled softly, leaning up towards Lexa, a dark glint in her eye as she moved quick, flipping the brunette onto her back, spreading her legs around Lexa, and leaning her still wet sex onto Lexa’s taught stomach. “My turn.” She breathed before attacking Lexa’s mouth hungrily with her own.

 

** Clarke’s POV **

Clarke awoke with a start, sweat pouring off of her, the nightmare still apparent in her mind. She sat up quickly, trying to bring herself to the present. Her eyes blurred as she squinted, trying to adjust her vision in the dim light. She became acutely aware of an arm around her midsection, glancing down she made out a mess of frizzy brown hair in the dim candlelight.

She smiled faintly, memories of the night before flashing before her eyes, widening the smile into a grin. Lexa kissing her, Lexa’s head between her legs and the feelings that had buzzed around her head, dizzying her up; she was happy. Clarke sincerely wished that she could stay here, in Lexa’s arms for the rest of her natural life, and beyond. For if the grounder’s belief in soul reincarnation was real, her soul would be bound to the Commanders, forever.

She heard groaning beside her and gazed down to Lexa stretching, barely awake as the brunette blinked up at her, smiling as she met Clarke’s sapphire gaze. “You are awake, Clarke, Why?” Lexa queried as it was evident that darkness still plagued the land. In fact, they had only been asleep but an hour before Clarke had been writhing in fear.

Clarke was still breathing heavily from her nocturnal escapades, and although she was smiling, fear was still apparent in her eyes. Her face was shining in the dim light from the sweat that had been pouring down her pale face. Her eyes still swam with the tears that were threatening to flow down her soft skin.

“Hey, Clarke, it’s okay, you’re safe.” Lexa reassured the blonde, as she sat up, still blinking the sleep out of her eyes.

“I know, Lexa. I just, I had another nightmare about the mountain. I know the dream wasn’t real but the reality of it haunts me still. The memories are still out of reach…”She furrowed her brow trying to recall visions from the black-spot in her memory.

Lexa smiled sadly and the blonde recognised the pain that still lingered there, all too aware of how it felt for she too now understood the price of leadership. Wishing it could be taken away yet she would not change it for the world. She bore it so they didn't have to. She was unsure of why that mantra echoed in her head, the memories of the mountain still fuzzy.

All she could hold onto was what Lexa told her, the brunette had no reason to lie to her right? All she knew was that the mountain had fallen and that she was solely responsible for it, it was why the warriors referred to her as Wanheda; but why the commander of death? She knew for some reason that she had not been able to bear going back to the camp after the fall of the mountain, so had left her people to thrive on their own. Something a leader should not have done.

“Lexa, why did I leave my people? How did you come to find me?”

Lexa sighed and took hold of Clarke’s hand in hers, “I do not know the answer to that, Clarke.” The commander paused, clearly trying to find the words to continue, “However I can retell the story of the mountain and how you came to be Wanheda.”

Clarke paused, her words caught in her throat and her mouth open. No sound escaped her lips but she could not close her jaw. Lexa studied her with a deep concern as she bowed her head, clearing her throat, “It is a tough tale to hear but it will explain your nightmares. However…” She trailed off, clearly worried about something, scared almost with a vulnerability Clarke had rarely seen from her.

“What is it, Lexa?”

“You may end up hating me, Clarke. For the role I played in your downfall, in the terrible decision I left in your hands.”

Clarke gasped, shocked that Lexa, her Lexa had done something so bad that she was afraid to tell her for fear of losing her love. The blonde respected her Heda in that moment as Lexa was offering her the full truth, a truth so dangerous it could destroy what they had. She was so willing to heal Clarke that she did not care what happened to her.

“Lexa, look at me,” Clarke whispered, gently placing her hands on Lexa’s now wet cheeks, tears now rolling down over Clarke’s warm fingers as she stroked the brunettes cheek. “I will still love you. The fact that you want me to know with no regard for yourself honours me.”

Lexa sniffled, “There is no honour in me, Clarke.”

“Shhhh, Lexa, Shhhh, It’ll be okay,” Clarke took in Lexa with all her vulnerability and could not resist, in that moment, Lexa was hers, wholly and openly hers. She brought her mouth softly down and kissed Lexa’s wet lips. Lexa’s eyes fluttered closed, her eyelashes tickling Clarke’s cheek.

This kiss had not been the sloppy lazy kisses from after sex, nor were they the desperate hard ones from before. This kiss was almost profound, expressing all their intense feelings from one to the other purely through touch. Their lips almost zapped with electricity from the power of their love.

Clarke pulled away from Lexa’s lips and pulled her in towards her, embracing the Commanders hunched form within her arms. Feeling the brunette shake she squeezed tighter, “Shhh, Lexa. Whatever it is I am positive I won’t help you. You stayed long enough to find me out in that valley. You took care of me and you trained me. You never stopped me from going back to the Sky People if I wished; you also did not banish me. You accepted me and initiated me into Trikru culture. You are also willing to tell me everything. That means something to me, Lexa.”

Lexa pulled back, Clarke’s arms were still around her waist as she reluctantly brought her red eyes up to meet Clarke’s blue. She was breathing heavily and shaking as she closed her eyes momentarily before she spoke the words that could lead to her undoing, “I betrayed you at the mountain, Clarke. I left you to die.”


End file.
